Superstitious

In my past, I have been slightly superstitious. As time goes by, my superstitious nature tends to increase. I find myself crossing my fingers and knocking on wood during conversations. No jinxes! This superstition seems to be an unexpected consequence to my being poor.

I have been living off of my savings while trying to become a writer, so I have a fixed income so to speak. I don’t mind overall. March and April went well. I had finished April by winning CampNaNo. I wrote my blog happy and victorious with a small thought in my head: oh no, good luck please stay with me! I had ambitious yet reachable goals for May. I was excited and ready.

A couple days after I wrote the blog, I got the estimate to fix my car. It was an astronomical amount for me. What could I do? I paid for it. It wiped out my savings. I was in shock for the first day or two. I was not writing; therefore I fell behind with my goal. Ironic isn’t it? The clock is set. I have to write like my life depends on it because it does, and I stop. After the shock, came sadness.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Several years ago, I was getting in shape. I felt amazing. Then, I got sick. The illness lasted over a month. I lost all of my progress, and no longer felt like working out at that time. Almost two years ago, I finally got a third of the way through a fantasy novel. A grand accomplishment. I could not wait to finish. I was backing up my work monthly at the time. A couple days before my backup, my hard drive crashed. I lost a huge chunk of the fantasy novel as well as all of another personal project. Devastated, I had to go out and buy a new lap top. This depleted the savings quite a bit. I have not opened the fantasy  novel since. Although, I still hope to finish it. Shortly after the hard drive crash, my car battery died. I replaced it, then it died again a few months later. Startling. The company did replace it, but it was not a comforting day. Last year, I had a dentist overcharge me. He also did a filling incorrectly, so I had to have it done again (by someone else).

One step forward, two steps back.  Yes, I have become more superstitious. Always hoping luck will be on my side.

This time is different because my wiggle room is gone. I’m anxious.

I am moving up my editing schedule. I need to publish. I need to sell my book after publishing. If I don’t, well I’d rather not think about that. I want to finish the first draft of my Christmas novel since I’m in the middle of it, but I worry that it will take too much time.

I am writing this blog on May 11, 2016. I have had my setbacks. However, I am proud of my progress overall. I never give up. This time it’s one step forward, half a step back. I want to do this. With all that I am, I want to succeed. I have slowly started to get back into writing this week. I’m several days behind, so I adjusted my goal.

I will keep you updated.

*Knocks on wood.*

wood

Are you superstitious?

Update (June 16th): I met my adjusted goal for May. I hope to do the same in June. I also found this article:

http://writerscircle.com/five-famous-authors-and-their-strange-writing-rituals-2/?utm_source=twc-twcfan&utm_medium=social-fb&utm_term=20160511&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=five-famous-authors-and-their-strange-writing-rituals-2&origin=twc_twcfan_social_fb_link_five-famous-authors-and-their-strange-writing-rituals-2_20160511

 

 

 

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About Kalen

I'm a writer who loves art of all kinds including books, paintings, and movies. I also have an affection for chocolate and pizza. I hope to create great art myself. It's my dream. View all posts by Kalen

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